The Thief of Baghdad [1924]
Silent movie
Swashbuckling / Adventure
Starring: Douglas Fairbanks
The entire length of this movie I was thinking to myself – oh, wait this is what Disney’s Aladdin as loosely based on (silly sidekick, princess who needs to be married off, a flying carpet and a dude who falls in love with a woman he’s met for 10 minutes)
Movie starts out with Fairbank’s character being an unrepentant thief (literally he goes into a mosque and tells everyone exactly this) who steals things in the marketplace via his athletic sneakiness and overall charm – ending with him stealing a magic rope that goes in the air by itself (we’ve seen that used frequently in media over the years) – he goes back to his 1 BR studio condo located in a well behind the market and meets up with his partner – showing him the rope and plotting how they can use it .
The announcement comes out that the princess is to be married off and princely suitors should come to Agraba.. Oh wait.. Baghdad and then Alladd.. Oh wait.. ‘the thief’ thinks the Palace! Ah ha! With the rope we can rob that place blind! So they scout out a good location and then use the rope at night to sneak into the castle where the thief steals some jewels via a slapstick comedy involved sleepy fat eunuchs but during his escape he sees the princess and.. BLAM INSTANT DEEP LOVE FOR BOTH OF THEM.
Anyways.. Someone hears the noise and he has to hide under a rug but as he’s trying to leave one of the princess’ handmaidens sees him and chases him off and he goes back to his pal who asks where the treasure is and he says the corniest line in movie history at the time (while holding up the princesses slipper) this is the real treasure. Her slipper – which I’m sure is delightful after sweating all day in the Agrabah.. Shit.. Baghdad sun.
So anyway – the thief is besotted but he isn’t a prince – so he watches the real princes walk in – and there are three of them.. The prince of Persia (not who you think) who is a comically obese sleepy prince, the prince of the indies who is an arrogant jerk and the prince of the Mongols who is dripping with stereotypes. The princess thinks none of them have drip like Alladd.. Dammit.. The thief and despairs before her man rides on a stolen horse wearing stolen clothes pretending to be a prince. He was actually there to kidnap his true love who he met one day ago (Queen Elsa disapproves) but through the Mongol spy in the palace he is revealed to be a common thief!
So the Caliph DQs him and the princess is distraught – so she comes up with a plan to delay them saying give them seven moons to find a gift worthy of her and she will choose – so they go off on an adventure to find these rare treasures. The thief meets up with the priest who he mocked in the beginning asking for help and he showed him a dangerous path to find a great treasure that will surely win this contest but warning him it is a perilous journey.
Prince of Persia takes a nap while his retainers find a magic carpet thanks to a crafty beggar who knew a secret (I see you Walt) and the prince of the Indies finds a lost idol with magic crystal eyes (imagery that is repeated through the years in fantasy elements – and I think it was on the cover of the original D&D players guide) and the Mongol leader finds a hidden magic apple that will heal any injury even dead (which tests on a random fisher man just minding his business)
While this is going on the thief is going through his peril – caves full of flames, giant furry bat attacks, underwater temptations, giant fish/squid monsters, proto-ents, flying horses and general peril – and he eventually finds a magic box that will create whatever the user wants (thanks to the advice of a hermit who lived in the caves) he triumphantly returns to the hermit and.. Promptly rides off on a summoned horse.. Man didn’t even summon up some chicken wings or a lady friend for this lonely hermit. Bruh – not cool.
Anyways, the Mongol’s great idea to win the princess’ favor is to.. Poison her? Presumable to use the apple to heal her.. But its apparent the poison is fact acting and he can’t get there in time (thanks to the crystal ball) so they hitch a ride on the magic carpet and zoom off to save the princess who realizes they all came back with awesome treasures but her true love is still missing..
The Mongol decides he’s tired of her shit and just sneaks in a bunch of warriors to storm the castle, take over the city and imprison the Caliph and the princes. He’s got it made in the shade.. He’s going to marry the princess and rule all of Baghdad.. But wait.. THAT’S THE THIEFS MUSIC!!
He rides in and starts throwing magic dust like a deranged tinker bell summoning up an army 10,000 strong.. The Mongols flee and the prince is about to have his bro execute him when the slave/spy says why not grab the magic carpet and steal the princess? So that’s what he does but the Thief arrives under the cover of his invisibility cloak and rescues her at the last minute!