Hard Boiled

If you’ve ever watched an action movie and thought “This needs more… everything,” then John Woo’s “Hard Boiled” is your cinematic all-you-can-eat buffet. This is what happens when you take Hong Kong action cinema, crank it up to 11, break off the dial, and keep cranking anyway.

Chow Yun-fat stars as Tequila (yes, that’s his name, and it’s probably the most normal thing about this movie), a clarinet-playing supercop who apparently attended the “Shoot First, Shoot Again, Maybe Ask Questions While Shooting” School of Law Enforcement. When his partner gets killed in a spectacularly violent teahouse shootout (because in this world, even teahouses aren’t safe), Tequila embarks on a revenge mission that makes Rambo look like a pacifist.

Enter Tony Leung as Alan, an undercover cop so deep in the criminal underworld he probably has to remind himself which side he’s on every morning. Together, they form the kind of buddy-cop duo that doesn’t so much bend the rules as shoot them full of holes while diving sideways in slow motion.

The plot? Well, there’s gun smuggling, triads, and corrupt cops, but let’s be honest – the plot is basically “How many amazing action sequences can we string together before the audience passes out from excitement?” The answer, it turns out, is “a lot.” The finale alone, set in a hospital (because nothing says “careful consideration for public safety” like a extended gunfight in a hospital), is a 40-minute symphony of choreographed chaos that makes you wonder if the film’s budget was just “all the bullets in Hong Kong.”

What Makes It Shoot Straight:

• Action sequences that redefine what’s possible in action cinema
• Chow Yun-fat’s ability to make dual-wielding pistols while sliding down stairs look like the most natural thing in the world
• Tony Leung bringing actual dramatic depth to his role between the explosions
• John Woo’s masterful direction that turns violence into ballet
• The hospital sequence that somehow keeps topping itself for a full 40 minutes
• More slow motion doves than a bird sanctuary having an existential crisis

What Makes It Misfire:

• The plot can be harder to follow than a bullet trajectory in a mirror maze
• Some of the dubbing in international versions is… let’s say “enthusiastic”
• If you’re looking for subtle character development, you might have to look between the explosions
• The physics are more “poetic” than “actual”

The Verdict:
“Hard Boiled” is what happens when you let action cinema off its leash and feed it nothing but adrenaline and gun powder. It’s excessive, melodramatic, and absolutely glorious. This is a movie where people don’t just dive through windows – they dive through windows while shooting two guns at two different targets while a dove flies past in slow motion… and that’s one of the more restrained scenes.

Is it over the top? Of course it is. The top is a distant memory to this film. “Hard Boiled” looked at the top, scoffed, and then shot it while jumping through the air in slow motion. But that’s exactly why it works. This isn’t just action cinema – it’s action cinema pushed to its logical (and sometimes illogical) extreme.

Rating: 5 out of 5 strategically placed doves

P.S. Try counting the number of bullets fired in this movie. Actually, don’t – you’ll run out of numbers. Also, pay special attention to the matchstick Tequila keeps in his mouth. It’s probably the only thing in the movie that doesn’t explode at some point.